Most teachers do not spend enough time teaching students how to structure and word the substantive parts of an essay.
Students are taught that a body paragraph = (1 sentence on substantiation X) + (4 - 6 sentences of supportive evidence and/or argument) + (1 transition sentence).
Often too little time is spent on the finesse or direction of these paragraphs. Teachers may comment awk (for awkward) in the margins when poor wording is a problem, yet what coaching advice do they give? Three tips to writing better substantive paragraphs:
- Alternate sentence lengths
- Avoid using the passive voice
- Tell a logical, compelling narrative
Sentence Length Alternation
This is a writing trick. Oftentimes, readers are overwhelmed by too many long sentences in a row. Good writers break it up. They alternate long, content-rich statements with lots of commas and lists, with short "one breath" sentences and simple wording that keeps the reader skipping along the page. Consider this paragraph. Every other sentence is short then long.
- Never have more than two really long sentences in a row
- Keep sentences as short as possible
- Present one thought per sentence
Avoid the Passive Voice
What isthe passive voice? It is using forms of the verbto beinstead of more descriptive words. The passive voice is a way to clutter sentences. There are plenty of reasons to minimize passive verb use. The main one is that it creates longer sentences, which are less direct and eloquent than alternative phrasing. Rewriting paragraphs after the first draft to minimize use of the passive voice willmake your essay more refined.
The passive voice traps writers into using forms of the verb to be instead of more descriptive words. The passive voice clutters sentences. Minimize passive verb use by writing shorter sentences, and using more direct and eloquent phrasing. For a refined essay rewrite sentences from the first draft to minimize passive voice use.
Logical Narrative
When writing substantive paragraphs imagine you are explaining your ideas to a friend who has little knowledge of the topic. State the basic idea (the hypothesis + substantiation = 1st sentence) then continue by presenting support that tells a story.
Sentences flow logically from point to point, building up the narrative. Take the readers through your thinking process. Point out important information then link it back to your hypothesis by providing a logical interpretation.
Putting It All Together
Body paragraphs of a five paragraph essay are just as important as the introduction and conclusion. Each presents a substantive piece of evidence that supports the central idea. Readers may lose interest if the writing contains too many long, bulky sentences with weak language and scattered thoughts. Remedy your essay with direct statements, meaningful word choices and logical flow of ideas.
Sources
Thanks to Susan Bauska, my high school English teacher at Annie Wright. She taught me how to write essays.
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